What's going on? Where have you been? Then is it? You submit a render and disappear for months? Got sick of us?
Sorry folks, I’ve been busy for the last days trying to organize myself online and offline, so only now I had time to stop and write something without being incoherent. There are mostly bad news, but please don’t think I’m playing the victim. If there’s at least one person wondering why the updates are increasingly delayed, that person deserves an explanation, and here we go.
To start with, I gave up of Surgical Instrumentation to take up a CG career (yay!). It was a delicate decision and I’m still scared of turning this hobby official, but I thought so much about this and I came to the conclusion that this is, all things considered, the best decision to make. There’s a significant deficiency of resources and professionals in Healthcare area, and I don’t believe I’m able to work under these circumstances. As for the salary, it takes a lot of effort in both professions to get an “ok” life, so it’s better to go on with the one which I have more knowledgement and affinity.
In Brazil the CG industry isn’t usually divided in sectors as Modeling/Texturing/Shading&Lighting/Rendering, so the best chances to get a job it’s being a Generalist. In addition to studying 3D modeling, I also have to adapt myself to 3ds Max+Vray workflow. However, since Maya interface and commands are familiar I began my studies there, and I didn’t consider it complex actually, although being quite boring for me. I believe that one of the projects has a future, but I’m stuck on it because at the moment it involves topics like UV Mapping and Retopology. I have other projects in mind but easy, one thing at a time.
Speaking of studies, I’m also waiting to see what will happen with a draft law that considers criminal anyone who works in Design area without a diploma. Is understandable that the professionals deserve to be respected, but with the law approved the autodidacts and freelancers with less than 3 years of experience will be hm, screwed. Since I have plans to graduate only when achieving financial stability, I’m just hoping to be shelved or maybe redrafted; if some designers use to sell themselves for little (main complaint), a college will not change that unfortunately. Anyway, it’s a shame the self-education isn’t being taken seriously here.
The worst is yet to come. In case you’re a new watcher, or just don’t remember, my grandmother suffers from dementia since 2011, and I need to take care of her 24/7. It’s really stressful, and due to that I went through months of creative block in 2013. I had motivation to improve my techs tough, but as the time passed I began to feel more and more exhausted to the point that my memory, concentration, creativity and mood were compromised. Recently I found out that the chances of what I believed to be only stress had evolved to Caregiver Burnout are very high, and not respecting my chronotype just make the things worse (because even sleeping for eight hours, I’m still tired). I considered to try a therapy with a professional, but it wouldn’t solve the root problem (the bottom is still a long way off), so I’m dealing with this whole situation in my own way, trying not require as much of myself and doing other things to keep my mind busy, like taking photographs, going back to literature and being addicted with some games (damn, steam!). I’m also trying to improve my SSS shader but, as you can imagine, little by little.
It can be frustrating for you to take note of how slowly things are moving, but believe me, I’m doing what I can. I hope that this terrible phase ends as soon as possible and I can devote myself better to not disappoint in the future; for now we can just wait.
Ps. Not being ironic, but late Happy New Year everyone. (=